I sat in bed one night, three weeks ago, listening to my oldest son talk about the cruise he was taking with a friend for Spring Break. He was telling me about their Bucket List. After he left, I sat there, in an Oprah-like moment thinking about MY Bucket List. I have been a mom for SO long that I've lost me. I have no idea what's on my Bucket List. Sad, but true.
At this point in my life, our home consists of 1 husband, 4 kids, my father, 1 incredibly lovable but spoiled dog, 1 aloof and fat cat, and our recently added hamster. It's chaotic, fun and stressful, all rolled into one. Did I metion that my husband's job takes him away from home for 3 weeks a month? He's home Fri-Sun, but ususally gone Mon-Thu or Fri, for 3 weeks a month.
I am at a place in my life where I am trying to find some balance. I NEED some balance. Put me first, at least once in a while. Typical mom syndrome, I suppose. Everything else comes first. I'm learning. It's slow, but I'm learning.
A friend of mine and I have begun walking each morning. She wasn't feeling well today, so I walked alone. I didn't have our usual conversation, so as I walked, I tried to notice the real beauty around me. I stopped to smell the lilacs on a bush that was in full bloom. I watched a grandmother outside playing with her 2 grandkids. The little girl shouted to me, "Hey! I'm playing soccer with my grandma!" I shouted back, "What a lucky little girl you are! Have fun!", I noticed all the trees and flowers starting to bloom. Although it was only 40 minutes, it was my 40 minutes. To look, to appreciate, to walk and run and to be thankful that I am here to do all of that.
At some point during that night in bed three weeks ago, I realized, "I want to write." I don't know what I'm going to write about, but I will write. Whether or not anyone reads is really inconsequential at this point. I will write. Today on my walk, I decided, "I will write today!"
I'm off to school to have lunch with one of the kids, while he's still at an age where he wants me around! Have an awesome day.
